The trigger to this article is two factors below:
No 1: The voiceover of Gray’s anatomy Season 2 Episode 7
I like voiceover or monologue, whatever it is called. Just like to chitchat with a friend, a really friend when you listening and watching. Though it is one-way communication, but, it is trade-off, isn’t it? You don’t need to worry you might hurt your friend’s feeling if you speak out your thoughts straightforward or whether express yourself appropriately. When I shut myself from the real world, sometimes, it really soothes my loneliness.
The main topic of this episode is “something to talk about”, I jotted down the Meredith’s voiceover because I like it:
Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking; the harder it becomes to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need.
At the end of the day there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear. And some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often but every now and then some things simply speak for themselves.
No 2: The training course I took today
As usually, I was distracted when I was in training. Same reason, you! Seems I can think of you in any minute in any strange occasion. When I was reading the following abstractions, what happened in last April, what I thought during watching “grey’s anatomy” overwhelmed me. Hereunder, I just cited some from the course:
The real communication is the message received, which is perhaps not the message intended.
Communication is a dance – a two way interaction.
Non-verbal communication accounts for up to 93% of the speaker’s message. 55% facial expression, gesture, movement; 38% vocal qualities; 7% words spoken. ( It explains in some point, why it is so difficult for us to have a long distance communication without seeing each other; why sometimes it is easier to hide truth on phone call; why sometimes it is necessary to have an face to face meeting for the success of project.)
What are the causes to communication traps? Some are coming from:
Lack of information or knowledge;
Not agreed on priorities;
Not listening
Mind made up;
Preconceived ideas;
Fail to ask questions, not understanding fully;
Not thinking through, jump to conclusions;
Short of time, no patience;
Bad mood, strong emotions;
Cultural differences;
Physical hindrances;
Psychological hindrances;
Selective listening;
Different expectations;
Incorrect presumptions;
Defensive attitude.
More and more often, I feel my capability of communication is losing, especially the fact I got your feeling wrong before, I failed to show my feeling correctly struck me as a deathblow. I was strong enough to bear with the failure of communicating with others who don’t know me really, who I don’t care or whom I choose not to open to, but I can’t bear these failure with you. How can I forget the nightmare happened last year? How can I forget the tears, the pains and the frustration coming from the misunderstanding?
曾经让我那样欣喜那样骄傲的与你之“身无彩凤双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通”似乎早已消失在时间的灰尘中，成为了“昨夜星辰昨夜风”，让人惘然，让人怆痛；哪怕我们尝试用那样直白的语言，用曾经我们都不屑为之的方式，依然有这样那样的挫败。
For sure, this is not the real and only reason I choose the silence at this stage. The more important is the changed standpoint, the way I feel about you. I wish something would simply speak for themselves as time goes by.
Ironically, one of the most important qualifications for my profession is communication skills.
One side effect: some confidence comes back to me again after today's competition. My intuition to correct answer of exam still exists.
2007-10-15
